


underneath the skin

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fights, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Operation Kuron, Original Paladin Colours, Shiro is gone, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 14:13:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13273146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: underneath the skin there's a humanburied deep within there's a humanand despite everything i'm still humanbut i think i'm dying here--in the search for Shiro, Keith and Lance hear about Operation Kurontw: violence, blood and the shock after that.





	underneath the skin

Keith’s breath was shallow and loud over the comms, and Lance nearly started counting them. Keith was practically vibrating next to him, bayard clenched in his hand.

“Keith, stay cool,” Lance hissed, and Keith stared at him, eyes wide. Did Keith even hear him? He’d been so on edge lately, getting desperate in his attempts to find Shiro. He’d been snapping, yelling, locking himself away in the training room. He hadn’t eaten (at least what they’d seen), and when he wasn’t training he was obsessively studying maps for any possible location of Shiro. Allura had tried talking to him, but he’d blown her off abrasively. The rest of the crew didn’t _know_ what to do. The rest of them had just cried it out together, trying to find him whilst maintaining themselves. Keith just wasn’t letting go. Lance had attempted to get him to open up, when they were curled in on each other in Keith’s bed, but Keith had always neglected to ignore Lance in favour of dragging kisses down his neck.

“Operation Kuron has been launched. Send news to Zarkon that it is so far successful.” This ship was run by a sole Galra soldier, and his sentries. Keith, for some reason, was convinced that he would know something about Shiro, for whatever reason. Just Lance and Keith had gone, because despite their constant arguments and tendency to make out mid-fight, they were an effective team.

Keith looked at Lance again, mouthing the word _kuron_ at him. Lance shrugged, before pointing forward. Keith nodded, and together they slowly slipped forward. Lance shuffled silently to find his vantage point, gun aimed at the other doorway in case sentries came flooding in. Keith was smooth and slick as he snuck up behind the Galra, who was so focused on the holographic map that he didn’t even notice Keith. Sneakily, Lance took a picture with his helmet of the map, in case it deemed useful later. Moving swiftly now, Keith pressed the blade of his sword against the Galra’s neck, leaning in close to his ear.

“Move, and I’ll slice you wide open.” Shivers went down Lance’s spine at the raw threat. Keith’s voice was low and deep, unlike anything Lance had heard before. It _frightened_ him. “What is Operation Kuron? And where is the black paladin?”  Straight to the point.

There was a clanking noise from the other doorway, and Lance focused his attentions there.

“Ah, the Red paladin. You must be _dying_ to know. I heard that you and the black paladin were close.” Lance closed his eyes, trying desperately not to shoot the stupid Galra in the face. _Focus on the sentries. Focus on keeping Keith save._

“Shut up. Tell me where he is, or I’ll fucking kill you,” Keith growled, and Lance dared look over. His fist was clenched white around the handle of his bayard, his jaw tight and muscles twitching. The sword was pressed further into the Galra’s purple neck, almost drawing blood. There was another clank, and Lance quickly looked back at the doorway in time to shoot the sentry that rushed through. The Galra jumped, turning to look in the direction of where Lance had shot from, but Lance ducked out of sight.

“Not alone are we? Perhaps the Blue Paladin is here too. I heard you two were _close_ as well. Maybe _he’ll_ be the next operation.” Lance sucked in a sharp breath, biting his lip, as he poked his head up to look again.

Keith was visibly shaking with rage, eyes wide and burning. He was going to snap, and they wouldn’t gain enough intel on Shiro or whatever the _hell_ Operation Kuron was. Although, from the Galra’s implications, it sounded suspiciously like it _was_ something to do with Shiro.

“Tell me. What. Operation. Kuron. Is. Now,” Keith snarled out, trying to maintain composed. Another sentry came in, and Lance quickly dispatched it. The Galra expected it this time.

“You know, I’ve really enjoyed my company with the Black Paladin. He was _such_ a delight to talk to. When he could talk, at least. Wasn’t very often, you see. He hasn’t been exactly leaving the life of the emperor.” Lance was positive this Galra wanted to die. If he wanted to live, he would’ve given Keith the answers a lot sooner. No, this Galra was toying with them, because he knew that he was their only intel as of now.

“Shut up. Shut the fuck up.” Keith took another step, and the Galra had to lean back to avoid the blade cutting into him. “I’ll kill you, I don’t give a _fuck._ ”

“But you do, because you want to know where your precious paladin is chained up, and you’re too focused on that to realise there’s a sentry with his gun pointed to your little blue friend.” _What-?_

Lance whirled around, as did Keith, eyes wide as he went to shout Lance’s name. There was no sentry, but before Lance could turn back around, there was a chorus of yelling.

Spinning around, Lance saw that the Galra had managed to kick Keith’s bayard out of his hand, sending it flying across the room. _A distraction. A bluff, to distract Keith._ Keith launched forward, tackling the soldier to the ground, and more sentries were flooding in

Lance quickly disposed of them, trying to keep an eye on the wrestling match on the ground. Keith was on top, and winning by the looks and sounds of it. The sentry army was beginning to dwindle, but holy _fuck_ this ship had a lot of them. There was another grunt and a sickening _crack_ , making Lance wince, and Lance finally dispatched the last of the sentries.

Looking back, he saw that Keith was on top of the Galra and he was-

He was-

He was _obliterating him._

“Keith!” Lance yelled, but Keith didn’t hear him, as his fists landed, crack after crack, into the Galra’s face. Blood sprayed all over his front, his face, as he pummelled him. “Keith, stop!”

Lance jumped over the crate he was hiding behind, ready to break up the fight, until the Galra spoke.

It was a gruesome sight, teeth missing and mouth filled with blood. He had a sick look in his eyes, like this is exactly what he wanted all along.

“You’ll never find him because he’s dead, we killed your stupid precious little paladin. How’s Voltron going to form now, huh?” Lance pressed his hands to his mouth, and Keith _howled_ as he slammed the Galra’s head back into the ground. And again. And again. And again. There was so much blood, everywhere, all over the walls, all over Keith, the floor, the soldier. Lance knew he had to stop Keith, but he was frozen, stuck. _Was Shiro dead?_

“You’re lying! You’re lying, where is he?” There was no answer, and Lance knew why the Galra wouldn’t answer, and wouldn’t ever answer. Lance finally surged forward, grabbing Keith’s collar, and ripping him back.

“That’s enough, Keith! He’s gone, he’s dead. Stop!” Keith struggled against Lance, even as Lance wrapped his arms around his chest to restrain him. He bucked against him, and tears welled in Lance’s eyes.

“Let me _go_ , _let me go Lance!_ ” Keith’s voice cracked, but his struggles were becoming less and less. Lance tightened his grip, burying his face into Keith’s neck. It hurt, to see the one you love crumble before you and snap. To see the blood on his face, on his fist, and know that although it’s not his blood he’s still bleeding somewhere else.

“Keith, baby. He’s dead. He’s dead. Calm down, I’m here,” Lance whispered, and Keith was just shaking now. He was trembling something awful, like he was going to fall apart in Lance’s arms. Lance didn’t have the means to put him back together if he did. Keith heaved for breath, shaking. It was like that, for however long. Keith quivering violently, Lance holding him as tight as he could. He was afraid of letting go, afraid of seeing that side of Keith again. The raw violence, the absolute hatred and raging fury. The knowledge that if Lance hadn’t pulled him back, Keith would’ve kept going until his hands broke and then some more. Finally, suddenly, at last, Keith sucked in a sharp painful breath, and his hands moved to clutch at Lance’s.

“Oh God, oh God,” Keith moaned, and Lance realised he was still staring at the Galra, long gone. “I- I- I think I’m- I’m going to be _sick_ ,” he hissed out, and Lance let him go immediately as Keith pitched forward. His whole body lurched, such an abrupt movement it looked like it hurt, and vomit splashed onto the ground as Keith retched.

Lance crouched next to him, somewhat obstructing his view of the body, pushing his hair back and stroking his back soothingly, even as his hands shook. He didn’t want to look back, at what Keith had done, because he knew it was horrible and gruesome. He knew Keith was capable of such things, _hell_ , he knew _Pidge_ was capable of such things, but to see it happen? That was a whole different story. It made Lance’s fingers numb and his spine cold, his stomach churn. It’s not that he thought Keith was a monster. No, if anything, Lance was- _afraid._ Afraid _for_ Keith, because what if someone wasn’t there to stop him next time? What would happen?

Keith let out a pitiful whine, and he moved to flop against Lance, his skin sweaty and hot to touch. Lance caught him, fingers threading in his hair as he took a deep breath. Desperate not to cry. Keith shuddered again, pushing his face into Lance’s chest. He heaved, once, twice, three times, for air, to choke back the swell of tears threatening to overcome him.

“I’m so sorry, Lance, I’m s-so sorry,” Keith mumbled, and Lance hushed him quietly. Keith sobbed, and the sound ripped through Lance’s chest with no sense of remorse. How do you go back to normal, after seeing the person you love completely break apart? How can you wake up the next day, pretending you didn’t hold them in your arms as they sobbed hysterically? “I’m s-so-“

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, Keith. I’m here. You’re okay. We’re okay.” Keith pressed his palms into Lance’s breastplate, and he _wailed_ , the noise carrying throughout the dead ship. And Lance could do nothing, be nothing, except the rock that Keith clung to in the storming sea, desperately trying to keep him from going under. He could just wrap his arms around him, rock him back and forth, as Keith crumbled.

What an awful thing, an awful feeling, it was. To feel so useless in the course of your lover’s distress.

Keith finally came quiet, and was still in Lance’s arms, still clutching weakly. Lance knew they had to get back to the castle, tell everyone what happened. Their comms had been off the whole time, which Lance was grateful for. He didn’t want anyone to hear what had happened. Gently, Lance pried Keith off of him, who was limp and compliant, catatonic even, in Lance’s arms. He was drained, emotionally and physically. Sighing softly, Lance pressed a kiss into Keith’s forehead, before scooping him up bridal style. Despite Lance’s lanky appearance, he was a lot musclier and stronger than he appeared, and carrying Keith was a breeze, even as the blood on both of them made him a bit slippery.

“Open communications.” Lance spoke, his helmet beeping in answer to his request. Noise flooded in, concerned chatter.

“Lance? Thank God. Next time you need to keep your communications on! What happened? Where are you?” Allura’s voice rose the highest, and Lance took in a shuddering breath. The others could hear it, he knew.

“I have a picture of a map, and we learned about something called Operation Kuron. We’re heading back now,” he replied, trying to keep the waver out of his voice as Keith curled tight against his chest. So small and vulnerable.

“Where’s Keith? Are you both okay?” Lance wanted to laugh, or cry. Are they okay? Most certainly not, despite what Lance had told Keith earlier. No, they weren’t okay, not in the fucking slightest.

“He’s with me. Neither of us are hurt.” He didn’t say they were okay, and he heard Pidge whisper about that lowly. His heart clenched. “I’ll see you guys shortly. Communications off.” There was a sudden increase in protests, but the line closed before he could hear the majority of them. Lance knew it wasn’t fair to leave them in the dark like that, but he wouldn’t- _couldn’t –_ bring himself to tell them what happened. Not whilst Keith was here, in his arms, shocked silent.

He moved slowly back towards the pod that had gotten them here. The ship was dead silent, no sentries remaining. It was kind of sad that Lance almost wished there were sentries, to distract him from the hitching breaths from Keith. Anything but listening to that would be preferable.

When they got back into the pod, Lance reluctantly placed Keith down on one of the seats. He didn’t want to let him go, even for a short amount of time. He was scared of losing him, such a small thing, in such a big place like space. Keith curled against the armrest of the chair, eyes wide and blank. Blood was still smeared all over his face, and his suit was ripped at his knuckles, revealing the grazes on them.

Lance looked away, and focused on slowly lifting the pod away from the ship’s docking bay. The pod was small enough that they could infiltrate the ship without being detected, rather than the lions which were almost the size of it. Steadily, Lance made his way back, carefully observing Keith out of the corner of his eyes. He didn’t move, and he didn’t make a sound other than his ragged breathing. He was in shock, and Lance didn’t know what to do. He didn’t _know what to do._ The frustration at that brought tears to his eyes again and he bit his lip, his own shoulders shaking. He felt pathetic.

Sucking in a breath, he let his tears fall silently, because he didn’t want Keith to hear him cry. He needed to be strong, for both of them. Lance wasn’t used to having to be the strong one. That role went to Shiro. _Shiro._

His heart ached. He prayed with every single fibre of his being that what the Galra had said had been to merely egg Keith on, destroy him. If it hadn’t, then it was lost. Voltron was lost. They could find a new paladin but they couldn’t find a new Shiro.

Lance pressed his mouth into the side of his arm, squeezing his eyes shut. _Get it together._

The castle approached, the docking bay swinging open in preparation for them. Lance smoothly landed, slumping back in his chair once the pod had stopped. Keith still hadn’t done anything. Agonisingly slow, Lance climbed out of the seat, scooping Keith back up again, and got out of the pod. The others were already rushing down to meet them and _God_ Lance wanted to avoid them. Avoid their questions.

“Lance! Keith! Wha- what happened?” Allura came to a sullen stop, and the rest of them crowded around as Lance tried to hold a brave face, despite the tear tracks down his face. “What happened to Keith? I thought you said you weren’t hurt.”

“He’s not. Get out of my way.” Lance’s voice was unusually cold and distant, and Allura stepped to the side.

“Why is he covered in blood? Lance, what _happened?”_ Pidge asked softly, but Lance walked past her, jaw clenched. Hunk or Coran didn’t say anything, they just stared, eyes wide. Keith shifted, pressing his face tighter against Lance’s chest.

“I’ll tell you all later. Just- just leave us alone for now. Pidge, you can board the ship and download all the intel you need. It’s empty.” He should warn her, about the mangled corpse in the main room. But that would lead to more questions, that he wanted to answer. Pidge could handle it. Hunk would go with her, probably.

Pidge opened her mouth to ask another question, but apparently she decided against it. Her and Hunk slipped away, and Allura and Coran just stared after Keith and Lance as Lance made his way back to his bedroom.

Once he got into Keith’s bedroom, he gently placed Keith into a sitting position on the bed. Keith blinked, looking down at Lance. The most reaction he’d given in the past hour.

“Why didn’t you tell them what happened?” Keith croaked, and Lance looked away, eyes stinging.

“I couldn’t. Not right now. Let’s get you out of that armour and into the shower, okay?” Lance mumbled softly, beginning to unclip the armour from Keith’s body. The blood transferred onto Lance’s hands, and Keith looked at it, but Lance ignored it.

He pulled each piece off, one by one, until Keith was sitting in his under-suit, face desolate. Lance peeled off his own armour, and Keith managed to stand on his own, despite leaning into Lance’s side. It was improvement. Together, they climbed out of their under-suits, throwing them aside in the laundry basket to be washed. And repaired, in the case of Keith’s. There was still blood on Keith’s face and hands. Quietly, they shuffled into the bathroom, and Lance turned the water on to somewhat warm. Keith pressed his face into Lance’s chest again, sighing heavily. They stepped into the water together, Lance absentmindedly running his hands up and down Keith’s arms, feeling the ridges of the scars littering them.

It was silent, between them. They watched the blood wash down the drain, turning the water a gross brown before it left. Lance ran the bar of soap up and down Keith’s body, careful as he ran it over Keith’s bruised and cut knuckles. Keith stayed still, his face pressed into Lance’s neck, wrapping his arms around his waist once Lance was finished cleaning him.

“I’m sorry, Lance,” Keith mumbled again, and it was less of the hysterical apology it had been before, but still the same message. “I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s okay,” Lance repeated, his hand grasping the back of Keith’s neck as he too buried his face into Keith’s shoulder.

“It’s not t-though. I k-killed someone, Lance. With my bare hands. It’s not like- like before. When we’ve killed. It’s never been- been so _violent._ ” Keith’s voice was shaking now, and Lance hugged him tighter, but didn’t say anything. Because they both knew it was true. Despite what Lance had tried to convince himself, Keith had killed a solider with his fists. “What if you weren’t there, to stop me?”

“Don’t think about that. I was there, and that’s all that matters. The water’s getting cold, let’s get out.” It was a weak lie. The Altean water system never allowed the water to get cold, but Keith didn’t complain as they got out and changed into soft pajamas. “I just want to go to sleep Keith. I don’t want to think about it anymore.” It was a shitty thing, because he knew they should talk about it, think about it. Work it out. But both of them were far too eager to let it slip behind as Lance crawled into the bed, Keith slinking in after him to press as close as possible. He wasn’t catatonic anymore, in shock, like earlier. Now he was just _quiet_ , and _small._

Lance felt quiet and small too.

**Author's Note:**

> Song in the title/summary is Human by Daughter.


End file.
